Dating someone with an eating disorder
However, you can learn to express your excitement by channeling that energy into something you can do together, like a movie night or a trip to a karaoke bar. The hormones which allow menstruation, particularly estrogen, need fat cells in order to be produced. Be consistent; be loving. It all comes down to priorities. Many people with eating disorders struggle with sexual intimacy and a reduction in libido.
Telling your partner that you love their curves, for example, might be triggering, because they are still coming to terms with having to have curves in the first place. Try to reach out to him or her and offer your help and support. Does that sound fun? Offer to go to therapy with her. My hunch is, not usually; but you must answer this for yourself and for your situation. She may even discard the relationship rather than walk into the pain of dealing with the disorder. She might be preparing to break up with you. You can also suggest that he or she seek out professional help. The recovered individual gets to find his or her own path and learn how to become comfortable eating around others, one strange meal at a time. Ask her to free herself from these issues, repeatedly. That means offering both space an support — and not judgment or unsolicited advice. A hungry person is not very motivated to be intimate. Similarly, many people who struggle with an eating disorder are very self-conscious about other people watching them eat. The inexplicable repulsion to or fear of touch, even into recovery, can hinder sexual exploration even though they may feel desire and want to participate in sexual activity with their partners. Why is this such a taboo in eating disorder recovery. So yeah, I sometimes found myself wanting to punch my boyfriend for insisting I taste-test his homemade spaghetti sauce with a piece of bread five times over the course of the afternoon, thereby wasting all my dinner calories before dinner ever started. The food is a symptom; the real problem is something else. She hates herself, and you love her. The thought patterns that surround ED really encumber relationships. Literally, the bones become who we want to share a bed with. Many times a comment about his or her weight, whether it be about being too skinny or overweight, might trigger symptoms. Like most people, he or she can get irritated by normal, everyday problems. How would recovery improve your relationships? These issues are probably part of deeper pattern. Guilt and shame about food may drive your partner to feel like they need to hide the behaviors from you — and eating disorders multiply in the darkness. Treating an eating disorder like a laughing matter or using dismissive language is troubling and triggering.
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